Been thinking..what is that makes humans long to feel the warmth of other human contact (often the opposite sex). I am talking about cuddling. I love cuddling, laying next to someone else..especially the right person (which let's be honest is not Kaden). Yet, I must admit that I am bad bed companion. I move, have muscle twiches and get hot and kick off all the covers. Kaden looks at me angrily throughout the night and just moves to a new position. These are things that I must not reveal until absolutely neccessary. I mean the combination of me and Kaden both in a bed...not the best package.:-) The right person won't care, or at least will deal, right? (I hope....)

O.k. so I am not one to rant and rave about the stupidity of the french (although in the past 6 months I have discovered that many people do), but really, I am annoyed with their current riots. The capitalist American in me is like, suck it up...do your job and guess what..you probably won't get fired. If you do get fired, go find another job. I mean really it is only going to apply to people under 26 who have been there less than a year. And...if I have been explained everything correctly, this is a step towards improving their overall economy. I will not get into a big discussion on things that I obviously have no depth of knowledge upon, but I must say that I am annoyed with them. Plus the punks are hurting tourism...I wouldn't go there right now. As if they care about that though I guess...

Tomorrow is a loooooong day at the Ridge - 14 hours in that building. I am dreading it. At least I have Friday off. So, I do have pictures up from the trip...not completely happy with the way they are going on the website...a bit funky...but hey they are there...check them out here.

"Chocolate always loves you back" My coworker offered me the last dove promise chocolate thingys and that is what my wrapper read. How sad is that? Even my candy is telling me the truth now...haha.

The Crime...

Suspect 1: Weird Dragon Thing

Suspect 2: Ms. Sheep

Suspect 3

Hmmm...angry suspect 3...wonder who it was?

Summary of my time in Denver and Vegas:

oh, no...missed our flight, turn around, we will catch the connection in cincinnati * staci bats her eyelashes at the guy behind the counter and he lets us on the flight...no extra charge even! * my birthday * to celebrate my getting older we go snowboarding at winter park * yes...i said snowboarding ( i cried, i laughed, i survived ). picture me dressed like the little boy in the christmas story unable to breath because of the altitude, and clumsy..just because i am...on a board attached to my feet on slick snow. when you fall down...which i did alot..you have to roll over on your stomach..with this massive thing attached to your feet and push yourself up..yeah it was lots of fun. overall i did enjoy it, but would like to try it at normal altitude next time so i don't sound like i am an 80 year old with with major breathing problems * unable to move our bodies, we go for mexican to top off the day....stuffed and unable to physically move..we crash at like 10pm * physically exhausting happy birthday to me:-) * next day we go visit the rocky mountain national park, pretty snow, fun times * viva las vegas * we walk around and go to topless show (then of course i spend the rest of the night trying to do the kicks and asking ondi how in the world those girls got their butts to look like that) * maybe not the best planning, but up at 6 am to get our convertible mustang to head to the grand canyon * pretty rocks, pretty rocks..the grand canyon at sunset * driving, driving, driving, get back to vegas at 1 am * next day old vegas... walking, walking, walking....and our feet hurting, hurting * i buy flip flops at walgreens, good bye hooker boots * i buy cute sandles at sketchers (yes any excuse for shoes) * ondis feet throbbing and more walking * we are running late, but oh wait...the plane is delayed * back to denver for the night, then back to the airport to back to ky * delays, rerouting, and no suitcase in louisville * yes, i said louisville, but isn't my car in cincinnati? * with the assistance of friends, i make it back to lexington * pick up my baby kaden...covered in matts in his hair as big as my hand * paycheck, what paycheck? yes my paycheck MIA sent to the wrong address in the mail. **two hours later, kaden in clean ** two days later my suitcase arrived, wanted to kiss the old man **and nearly two weeks later, i get my paycheck:-)

The trip was hectic, but a good time. It is always good to hang out with the girls and we had lots of fun. And I am much happier now that I have money, my clothes, and my clean dog.:-)

So, random thoughts. You know behind every crazy/psycho girl...I think there is probably a guy that has hurt them. The surest thing to make a girl go insane is a man. I say this from personal experience, as in this time last year. When someone drops out of your life, no warning, no reason (even if it is so the best thing for you) it still makes you feel a little crazy. I don't think I was certifiable, but I was upset and perhaps a bit obsessive at times. All good though because I am in a much better place, and maybe he is...woudn't know though.

Well, Lisa and David's ceremony. We were discussing how amusing it would be to go to a wedding that had inappropriate things. Examples: music such as "What Might Have Been" and readings from revelations. Just a funny thought.

O.k. me in the present. I am tired, from a work week. My house is a mess..which I fully intend to clean tomorrow. I am good overall...I think. Making decisions, trying to make changes. I think I would be getting more dates if I was a man...a man who was taller than 5"2. I would be a dang good catch as a guy I think. And what are your thoughts are pheromones? Do you think that some people secrete more pheromones than others, thus making them more attractive?? Hmm..just wondering. No reason.

My quote of the week I am a freakin counselor for a freakin living. Evidently this is the phrase that I like to use when trying to explain how I interact with people. Keep posted (for when I am less tired and grouchy...right now I just want to go to sleep...sleep...sleep) for summary of my trip, new pictures...and my version of how Lisa and David should perform their ceremony.

I am back in the lovely city of Lexington. Been back for a few days, but have been working and trying to catch up on everything in between! It was a bit of hassle getting out...which I will share, but in a summary I arrived back in Louisville, while my car was still in Cincinnati, my suitcase was missing due to the rerouting because of missed connections, my dog was a complete mess, and my paycheck is MIA. Fun times, fun times. Spent today..well just sleeping. I did manage to start some laundry and straighten up my house...you can now walk through it. I mean I always leave my house in fairly good condition...I tend to have the "what if something happens to me" in the back of my head...therefore I like to leave my house in decent condition. However...the minute I arrive back from a trip my apartment turns into mad chaos. While I didn't get it fully cleaned as I had wanted, it is at least more decent now.

Before I begin sharing some of my trip...I must first share some random thoughts. So, right now I have shall we call a "weird friend". By this I mean someone that is a dear friend, but there used to be (or maybe still is...) some romantic attraction towards. The trick with "weird friends" is knowing what lines to cross and not cross in discussion. Now the friend would totally be like share whatever you want, but I can't help but feel that there should be some lines there. What is sparking these thoughts? Well, I guess it has to deal with my jabbering when I am half asleep about my underwear and underwear "rituals" if you will. (So...I guess that makes me sound like a freak now..I just mean that I always take beyond extra underwear on every trip and I like to be wearing clean underwear every night before I go to sleep). I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps I had crossed a discussion line that I shouldn't have. Random thoughts...dang I hate emotions sometime and wish I could just turn the stupid things off. Now I am realizing that I am tired...I will write about the trip some tomorrow. Overall, I had a great time....went snowboarding, visited Vegas, and saw the sunset at the Grand Canyon. Hope you are all well...and haven't forgotten about me in my leave of absence.

So..just an FYI..I am on vacation (yeh!!) until the 16th...having fun in Colorado..then Vegas..of course much to share..but will post when I am back.

I am going to work with a faint red Kool-aid mustache that I can not remove..have tried...by scrubbing in the shower and then trying to cover up with makeup. That dang red dye. Really professional...going to work with a red Kool-aid mustache.

So..the count down to my little vacation has started. Just two more days of pure madness and then I get to fly off for a week. Wow..do I sure feel like I need it right now. Paying what I feel like is a lot for a dog sitter. She sounds really nice and this is what she does...she even lets some fo the dogs sleep with her..which I am sure that Kaden will demand. I suppose she will either love or hate him. Perhaps that is a career option...I could just become a permanent dog sitter. That's a bit odd too...sort of feel like I would be crazy dog girl. But then I am thankful that there is someone out there doing it..so I can leave the little punk in trusted hands. (Of course I know that there are many of you out there dying to keep him..thanks for all the offers..ha..ha)

Jokingly my coworker tried to set me up with the pill user across the hall today. He was hot I will give her that, but I don't think I could deal with an substance abuser....it is a very, very tough thing to kick. Haha...yeah...so we have to pass time at work somehow. Work was long and busy today. And I was annoyed at my hair all day...I opted to sleep another hour on my damp hair..never a good idea. I tell you...I am mucho self-conscious about my weight and appearance in general, but there are a few things that I like about myself: my eyes and my hair...so when either is funky...it ruins part of my mood alll day. Random I know, but true.

As a therapist, I talk to people about the connections between thoughts - feelings - behavior. They are interconnected and some people like to focus on others more than the rest. Sometimes I would like to throw out the thought....why do people (including myself) have to be rational all the time? I am not always rational..as many of you are probably thinking..but an event occurred recently that makes me not want to think..but just deal with feelings. Vague...and random...I know.

Yeah taking the makeup portions of the mama jama test that I failed two sections of earlier this year. No, I am not going back to the PhD program but retaking the sections will allow me to get the other degree easier and faster. It is on Wednesday...and trust me I need your best wishes on it.

I am tired and have bills that I need to pay before going to bed, but I thought I might ramble a bit on here. Have eaten all my favorite foods in the past few days...italian, mexican, and indian. Yeah...so now that Megan is leaving, I need to put the "smack down" on myself and buckle down (even during my trip next week). I realized I have two months to lose some weight for lisa's wedding...and I need to get on that. Today..we didn't find anything (that is Megan...as I am not looking for a prom dress contrary to the fact that evidently I appear to be 17). Luckily a dress was found and placed on hold yesterday..so it's all good to go.

With the money that my grandparents gave me for my birthday, I purchased some perfume. I am sort of reverting to the old days...I bought some Jessica McClintock. A bit old school I guess, but I really do still like it. It is light and flowery..which should be good as spring is starting to be in the air. Although, according to Josh he doesn't like it..perhaps I reeked throughout high school. Too late now, because I got it..so therefore I will wear it. In general I am a big fan of perfume..although not as much as purses. Anyways if you around me and I stink..please let me know.:-)

Some random thoughts about love and dating in general. As much as I hate the whole dating cycle, you know it really does help you see things that you are seeking in a significant other that maybe you didn't realize before. For instance, I rant and rave about the importance of the companionate portion of the relationship..but there has to be a spark there too. Let's be honest there's is nothing like kissing someone who makes your knees go weak and a kiss that you feel from head to toe. (Now..maybe some people are lucky and the very first person they meet is like this..but I doubt it..and let's be honest I have kissed 95% frogs for those 5% moments). Also just other mannerism and important things..I don't know..I don't want to start being specific on here because then people might like be "oh that's me", but I guess I am having an "ahah" moment that there is a reason for the madness known as dating. Oh, but don't be decieved...I am still bitter and angry. Just so you know.

Well..good news is that the doctor doesn't think anything is wrong with me. So, hopefully I am cancer free for the moment. When I get my bill, I will see how much I paid the md to come in for 3 minutes and feel me up..

Megan is up visiting me this weekend...we are doing the prom dress hunt. Perhaps the most amusing moment of the day was when the lady asked me if I was looking for a prom dress as well...she was dead serious. Yeah...evidently I look like I am 17. Which will be a good thing..at some point I guess. Perhaps I will try on prom dresses with Megan tomorrow..haha.

Correction: In my last blog, I was telling my Transy guy story...well I said the guy left with a guy...which let's be honest makes the story funnier...but I meant to put a girl that was 6 years younger. Funny..funny.

So I got an email about a publication that I am like 5th author on...and the email said Dr. Campbell. How sad is that? It made me sad. Silly I do know, but sad it does make me. (I feel like I am talking like Yoda from Star Wars).

So had a moment where I remembered why I didn't date guys while I was at Transy. Now..this is not a note on ALL Transy guys...but let's say a significant portion of them. I am at this wedding reception this weekend...this guy I think is making "eyes" with me..perhaps trying to talk to me multiple times....so I think he might be hitting on me. Oh..but no...by the end of the night he is with a guy 6 years younger..I guess she took him back to her dorm room. Really..I don't care about this guy, but it made me remember that many of the guys I went to school with at Transy were either 1. gay or 2. looking for that barbie doll cut out. Just a reminder.:-)

Trying this new stuff with the dog. Nature's Miracle....I must say it is starting to remove some of the smell. You should see me..it is for shots..I am covering good portions of the carpet...almost through a gallon. The hope is by removing the smell...it will stop Kaden from going to the bathroom so much in the house. I also order an extended step for the steps I got him...maybe having a step closer to the bed will help...I am really growing tired of the couch..and my back is hurting as well.

Here's an amusing fact. I am going to counseling to do some work on my self esteem and career issues..among other things (some may think anger management..haha..you know who you are). Well, went fo the session..it went well. Let's be honest..I am a good client...as she pointed out I am good at expressing my emotions and sharing what is on my mind (imagine me in a safe environment...that is totally uncensored and confidential). The point is..I asked what my benefits were through my insurance and get this..I get 365 sessions a year! Evidentially they recognize that working at the Ridge means I may need daily counseling...how amusing is that.