O.k. so even though I should be packing and getting ready to go home, I have opted to blog for a moment. Things have been going ok. The weight loss is coming..the official count is 17..but I suspect it is more since the weigh-in according to my scale. I am very excited about that. Frustration...because I thought that among other things I was building a friendship over the past year, but now I am beginning to think that I was royally wrong. I have been working alot of night shifts and it has really messed up my sleeping. You know, one thing you learn as you get older is that there are some things that you can't by cheap or off brand...well I discovered another thing: paper towels. You must by good paper towels or otherwise it is a waste of money because you have to use so many of the cheap ones to do anything. A while back I recieved an email requesting that I list the songs that have been staying in my head lately so here you go:

1. We belong together - Mariah Carey's new one...it gets stuck in my head and I am singing it all day!
2. the nellly and Christian A. duet..it is old..but it's in my car..and I love singing along to it
3. Don't ya wish your girlfriend...yes the song is a bit annoying, but the radio is playing it to death.
4. My give a damn busted...yeah trying to make myself really believe that song.

Off to Breathitt County for a few days..the family gets to meet Kaden and I can escape from my cell phone..force me to relax.:-)

Song of the day: If I had a million dollars...

Yeah, if I had a million dollars I wouldn't be worrying about finding a job and I would just pack up and travel for awhile.:-) I keep having these dreams where someone makes me go back to high school. I still have my college degrees, but they are making me go back and will not listen to me. I have had this dream, in various formats, at least 10-15 times. For the love! Am I scared that by taking a year off that I will be losing what I have learned or perhaps a question of my competence? Or..perhaps it is just a dream, either way I am getting annoyed by having the same dream over and over. I was exhausted last night, so it was good to get home and crash. I slept in and then woke up and went to the pool this morning. I have multiple goals for the remaining summer:

1. Loose weight ( in progress)
2. Get tan ( getting there..will be faster than the weight loss!)
3. Housetrain Kaden (ugh...a working progress on most days..just ring the dang bell Kaden!)
4. Oh yeah..and do those stinkin' papers.

Work stuff..sigh. I think i am going to apply for an admissions counselor position at Transy. I was told last night that a suggestion is going to be made to the new director that they work out a 32-hour a week position for me at the Ridge..but I don't want to ignore other opportunities right now either. I will keep you posted. Work, work..that has been the past couple of days and the week ahead of me...at least it keeps me occupied.

Song of the day: You give love a bad name

Sad times tonight. I am feeling down because I went majorly off the diet this weekend...still continue to feel sad about a someone...and now don't know what to do with my short-term future. I do not have a full time job at the Ridge as of today and I don't know if or when a position is going to come open. So here is the options that have been going through my mind:
1. Pursue photography stuff while working at the Ridge part-time
2. Find a teaching job ( looking into positions at LCC)
3. Suck it up and look through the paper and take a major pay cut
4. Chill out and wait out the Ridge since I have enough hours through July
5. Move and work in a foreign country (always a wonderful option:-)
6. Make money singing karoke fancy..haha
7. Waitress again..maybe...at Cracker Barrel...not!
8. Do absolutely nothing and pretend that I get paid for laying by the pool.
9. Require a fee for everyone that wants to pet my absolutely adorable dog Kaden...and trust me that would be alot.:-)

O.k. so I am stuck. Where do I go and what do I do? I am trying to keep my major goals in mind: take a BREAK from school and get refreshed...while also being able to pay my bills. Hmm... decisions...and stress. And of course you know me...I am stressing and worrying over this.

I am so tired of being sad and single. I spent a significant time looking through the dating services online again tonight and for a moment debated rejoining. The problem is that I don't feel like I can just jump back into something because unknowingly I got my heart too involved in this last "situation". Can we make time pass and have my Prince Charming sitting on my doorstep? I long so much for companionship...and someone with who I can relate.

O.k. just for fun you should check out this website http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
Thanks to Josh for always discovering the rare and fun things in life.:-)

I went and laid by the pool for the first time this summer. Never fails that the first day...no matter how long I stay or if it's cloudy...my lobster coloring appears. So, yes, today I am bright red color and have the sensation that my entire body is on fire. Oh, the things we do for a tan...but it will go in some tomorrow and hopefully I will have a nice base in which I can begin tanning.

Kathy is on her way to stay this weekend..it will be nice to have company. Less chance of making stupid phone calls. Housebreaking...it's getting better, but it is a challenge. Right now I have placed bells on the door that we ring each time before going out. The goal is to get Kaden where he recognizes to ring the bell when he needs to go outside and do his business. Oh..the joys of puppyhood.

Ok so I decided it is time for me to do an update. I am now the proud owner of an adorable Maltese that I that I have named Kaden. He is absolutely adorable and loves people. He definitely keeps me on my toes! Tonight I had a get together for everyone to come over and meet the puppy. Kaden is now sleeping from exhaustion of all the excitement. I was just happy that so many people showed up...I can sometimes have bad luck with planning events.

The Jenny Craig thing is going good...I have lost 14.5 pounds as of today in a month. I am very excited. I don't really think you can see it yet, but that is what the scale says.:-)

Heartbreak city for me again. It is so hard to not get attached even when "boundaries" are set up. It is confusing when you feel like one thing is being said, but actions are saying other stuff. Anywho...long story that I don't want to get into..but I am trying to stay busy right now. My house is spotless...if only I could channel that energy into the remaining papers that I need to do. A lot of my friends are like I am going to set you up, etc...but that is not what I need right now. I am just going to be honest, I had to developed strong feelings for someone and I need to time to recover from that...I can't simply try to jump into something. Isn't love ironic though? It seems like it takes meeting someone else to fully get over someone and then when that ends where are you again...yes sitting alone and broken hearted. Love stinks..yeah..yeah..