1. I have issues, you want to be my issue?
2. Always the photographer, never the bride.
3. I can't afford to be alone (really I can't...I am eating eggos for dinner this week)
4. I can cook pasta..and no bake cookies, any takers?
5. Clumsy cause I'm clumsy. (as opposed to clumsy cause i am falling in love by Fergie).


So I did rejoin match.com however none of these were my headlines. I am feeling sad, depressed, lonely..and a bit pitiful these past few days. And today I am feeling jaded, bitter for various reasons and I realized I need to move on. I am a sad, sad young woman..so I am venturing out into the dating world again. (insert some dramatic music here). Today match..next week speed dating. No more will I be buried in foreign grounds (only funny if you understand the context...although it is quite sad as well..and a sad part of my life if it were made into lifetime original movie). Anyways, I am going to try. What else can I do?

Funny conversation between me and an anonymous friend today.

me: I need to get a counselor. I need some therapy.

anonymous friend: Well it wouldn't be hard for you to find one.

me: Yes, but it would be hard to find one that wouldn't think I was crazy.

anonymous friend: Yes, that is true.

Oh the love, oh the love.

1. Could you be my doggie daddy?
2. The more boys I meet the more I love my dog (take from Carrie Underwoods song that I of course love)
3. Let me psychoanalyze you.
4. Kelly Clarkson is my best friend.
5. Talks too much, can't cook.

Hmm...just thinking of some catchy titles for a match.com profile. What do you think? I have been holed up here at the house for several days working on pictures. I have gotten some stuff accomplished..but I still feel like my life is controlling me instead of me controlling my life.

If there is such a thing as a sense of cooking (as in sense of direction) then I do not possess it. I have been forcing myself to eat the contents on my cabinets the past few days. Well, I messed up pancakes that all you have to do is add water to cook them. I fried them in corn oil. Yes, no one told me you were suppose to use butter or something of the sort. They were so greasy and gross. Reminded me of fried cornbread sort of...yes..I suck at cooking. This is why I eat out people. This is why I may never get married (ok..now I am being melodramatic). Correction: this is why I must marry someone who can cook or who is very adventurous.

My life over the past few weeks: work "real" job at the hospital..work on pictures...eat..sleep. Complete and repeat again. Continue repeating till insanity slowly creeps upon you. This has been my life. Really..even on my days off all I do is work on pictures. My apartment has gotten worse than I have ever seen it. Laundry and dirty dishes everywhere. Ridiculous. And my OCD nature of course kicks in and I feel like I am drowning even more with the mess surrounding me. Piles of laundry that Kaden carries everywhere..dinner here and there...mail everywhere. Sigh. So I stayed home tonight and started cleaning the mess that is my apartment. After 1 and half hour my kitchen is completed minus mopping. Tomorrow morning before I head home for Thanksgiving I will work on the living room. I am beginning to think I have the most boring life ever! I am still going to speed date..but it will be on December 6th. Although I am concerned because they combined two groups..and now it is possible that someone I will have to talk to will be old enough to be my father. Yes..good times. Creepy..creepy. I am starting to show signs of not sleeping..and no life...I fear that I see age spots under my eyes. Everyone else claims they can't see anything..perhaps they are fading freckles...all I know is that I have got to get it under control. I can't do this next year. In the spirit of Thanksgiving I suppose I will share some things for which I am grateful (and shake off ms. pessimism). I am thankful for: household cleaners (haha), wonderful friends, supportive family, God, life, freedom, ability to travel the world, photography, Kaden (I love my dog), a car that runs, a job that is bearable, healthy mental health (on most days) and a future that I must not lose sight of in the mundane tedious aspects of my everyday life (hmm...may have drifted back over to miss pessimism). Anyways, everyone should take a moment and be thankful for the things you have this year. (Now I just sound like a commercial). Peace out.. happy turkey day.

I am not completely incompetent and incapable of writing I promise..as one might have gathered after reading my last blog. I know the difference between poor and pour I do promise. I guess I was really tired when writing the last blog...although not really a good excuse as I used to pull out 20 pagers over night back in the day. So corrections have been made.:-)

I felt like a totally delinquent dog mommie today. I was out of dog treats and dog food..so in order for Kaden to have something to eat today I had to pour cereal in his doggie bowl. It was sad. I was thinking great now people will thing that I will be a horrible mother. They will think that if I run out of milk I will be like oh well..here's some coke cola. Funny thought. I promise I would not do such a thing. I am so tired..I will go to bed soon. I think I want to be a photographer when I grow up.:-) Too bad I didn't decide this how many degrees ago? How cool would it have been to actually have went to school for photography? And went and lived in a big city following graduation? It would have been great for sure. I seemed to have lost quite a few readers in my continued absence. I promised to make a more diligent effort to blog regularly. A teaser for the next week: I am venturing out into the world of speed dating again.

Continued updated pics on my photoblog..go here.

Heaven: when I get home after a day at work and I crawl back into bed in my pjs and Kaden curls up in the curve of my back. Perhaps sad but it is what I look forward to each day.

FYI..I have been posting more on my photography website. Lots of pictures as that is what keeps me busy these days.