Today was my on call day for work. I now work 32 hours in the office...and then take a 24 stint of on call for the local hospitals. Since I have done this officially I really haven't been getting any calls. Now part of me love this..hello..its another day off..however my paycheck is not loving it. I only need 1-2 calls and I can be ok. This upcoming paycheck will be no hospital calls..which stinks. So how do I give up my extra day off..sigh..this is a hard one.

Dating. I am thinking about getting back in the game. Not that I have been avoiding it per se..but I for sure haven't been actively pursuing it all. I am quite recluse these days as many of you know..so the chances of me meeting somewhere here lately have been..well..virtually zero. Which leads me to....I got back on match.com to look around again (as the commercial says..it is ok to look). It is interesting that is for sure. First there are the guys who have been on there for 4 years..I kid you not..and still have the same picture. I would imagine that some of them look different. And I don't know if I really want to "wink" or "message" someone who has continually been on here for 4 years. Yes, I have been on there off and on..but key words being off and on...not continually. Then you have to figure out who is looking for a real relationship versus those who are looking for a hook-up. Length of profile typically helps with these: longer means serious about this..one liner "I am just looking for someone to have fun with" typically means hook-up. Then I have to look through other factors. Such as..I am starting to think that I won't be able to date doctors. My experience has been they like healthy, lean, in shape. For instance I came across a md in my browsing who said the only body type he was interested in was "athletic and toned". Now even if I go to the gym every day of my life I do not believe I will ever fit that description. And last I have to look for warning signs that I may not get along with the guy. Now this does not apply for everyone but in general I don't jive well with guys whose interests include motorcycles, star wars, and computers. So for me these are keywords to avoid. Who does that leave me with....not much really. Still debating whether I am going to take the match.com plunge. I am however considering speed dating again..hmmm.

What being single means...the good and bad. For me it means: my house getting messy to the point that it is embarrassing to have anyone over. Dirty dishes that wait for several days. Sleeping in the middle of my bed completely sprawled out. Having 6 half drank water bottles in my refrigerator. My frig getting down to just condiments..more often than not. Only going to the grocery store when I have went through the paper towels after the toilet paper ran out. Questionable bread and milk - I can never use the whole darn things. Underwear all over the house because apparently my dog collects them. And running naked across my living room every morning to the laundry room (as instead of putting things up I often leave them in the dryer)...and remembering my blinds are opening and crawling /dunking behind the chair so my neighbors may not get flashed.

Life. It is stressful these days. I am starting to lose people in my life I feel with my withdrawing. I really am working when I am home though. After I get done typing this I am going to watch a television show without the computer in front of me..gasp. When I am home anymore this thing is in front of me and I practically can do photoshop in my sleep. It is relentless and I need a break from everything. And I need friends in my life..I need to make time for them in my life. And on a completely last random note: Garth's new song....breaks my heart.