Who I am I? I guess I am having a bit of an existential crisis tonight..haha. Sometimes I wonder if starting the blog thing was a good or bad thing. It makes me more vulnerable in alot of ways I think. I share a side of myself on here that others didn't perhaps see or know of before. I guess in a way it is good because it shows that everyone has a human side to them.

"You're a handful". This is a statment that I have heard more than once lately. Is that good or bad thing? I guess I am trying to determine that. When I am dating do I reveal too much of myself too quickly? I am just not really liking myself alot these days I think...feeling like something is broken with me. Maybe that is the reason that I find myself alone over and over again. I feel very jagged around the edges. I know alot of this just has to do with my being lonely and dealing with some heartbreak. It hurts when someone knows you completely and rejects you. It hurts at the very core. I have done good over the past week to eliminate some bad situations..and try to creat distance with the heartbreak. Well...I have eliminated what I can..the occasional stalker calls I don't really have any control over. Which leads to my next question..

Can you be friends with someone that you have more feelings for? Once you cross an emotional line can you go back? If I was giving advice to someone, I would have to say no. Steer clear of the situation, yet I am trying the not cut complete ties off thing. Falling in love with someone who is also one of your best friends is perhaps the worst thing to do...if it is unreciprocated. I need to go to therapy, don't I? (asks the counselor:-)