You know what I have truly craved here recently? I have craved for someone to be around who truly "listens" when I talk. Now I do not expect everyone in my life to pay full attention and take in my words..an example, my coworkers..they are not expected to fill this role. Although I think I have been sharing more than average with them because it feels like there isn't anywhere else to share it and it feels like I am there so much..therefore it happens by default. I do have a few select friends who really "listen" and are "there" when I talk..specifically I think of around 4...but they either live in other places or we just are not around each other as much. I have lots of people in my life who when I am trying to share what is going on in my life..I can see the zoning out and selective listening. People...my phrase that is a amusing..you have to remember that I am a freakin' counselor for a freakin' living. Translation: I am hypersensitive to reading people and picking up on nonverbals. This is to not say that I am analyzing those in my life..but it is fairly in my face when someone is not really listening. Bottom line: I need companionship in some form in my life..and it is lacking at the moment. I hate the feeling of something happening and really not knowing anyone to call and share it with.

Men. I am coming to the realization that I am viewed as the expendable girl you keep around. You know the girl you see sometimes who is nice enough..but not really someone that makes you want to be with only her? Yeah..I think that's me. I have many men in my life who like to go on a date here and there..but make sure they plug in that email or phone call perhaps once a month to keep them on the radar. And they only come around in flocks...they are all around..or they are all MIA. I want to be the one that matters to someone..the one that they put first and consider first. I will not subject you to my rantings further of what I want..but clearly this is not it.

What have I been up to? Well, I have been working and editing pictures in between. Good news...I am going to go to New York City for the first time in November...yah! I am meeting a dear friend there and we are going to just explore the city for a few days..and I of course am looking forward to taking pictures. My stalker is sporadically still around it appears. My dog continues to eat his own poop. And..yeah..I am so excited about the starting of the new shows for the fall. I think I realized how sad my life might be when it makes my world go round that Grey's Anatomy is back on.