One small step for Jessica....one huge leap for womenkind...or not so much. I braved the new experience of speed dating tonight. On my way there I was beginning to question whether I was suppose to go or not. On my way there, I get stuck in horrible traffic. Yes, they have taken Hamburg down to one lane for construction and the back up started right after Richmond Road. So, even though I left early..I was 15 minutes late. I took a short cut as soon as I got to a road..but I am not certain how much that helped...at least I was moving with relieved some anxiety. Then it starts to pour down rain..yes terrific and I approach the main red light at Hamburg..and wouldn't you know..it's broken. I got there though..with my hair that would not curl due to the humidity and late..and frustrated. And that is when the fun began.

So, the first thing I notice is that I appear to be signifcantly older than the others there. I might should have expected that since I was at the bottom on the age range that could go, but I was taken back by it at first. You must realize that I look younger that what I am...so that adds to some ackwardness. It began and it went...and it could have been worse I guess. Overall, I think it might have been a waste of money. This particular event only had 5 men at it...and I was expecting at least 6. And to be honest I am not sure if I will get a match. If you were in a sorority, you would total understand what was going on. Essentially it was date rushing...the men rotate to different tables every 6 minutes and you mark whether you would like to meet them again or not. It has to be a two way match in order to get info...just like rush (or shall I say the proper term of recruitment now?) Let's go through the summary of who I met:
Bachelor #1: And older, somewhat nerdy looking guy. Conversation went well, however it felt like there was a significant age difference and there wasn't any attraction. That was a no mark. Bachelor #2: Nice, decent guy. Someone I could be attracted to...likes to travel, so conversation flowed very well...was still talking strong when the little bell rang. Put a yes mark there. Bachelor #3: So, I think you are older than 38! He totally seemed like he could be my dad..with the graying hair and giving reference to giving me "fatherly advice" about starting a business. He reminded me of a guy from my doctorate program and I think the age difference was weird and it felt skeesy on both ends. That would be a no mark. Bachelor #4: Ok guy from southeastern ky. However conversation was like pulling teeth (insert southeastern ky joke...yes he did have teeth punks). He also presented as a bit..hmm...how shall I phrase this..possibly gay? All I could think is dude when you coming out of the closet? So, not wanting to relive any Transy days and not feeling any attraction..that was a no mark. Bachelor #5: Last, but not least the md. Cute guy, medical resident. Conversation was mediocore. I did mark yes, however I sensed that he probably didn't mark yes for me. I sensed through his nonverbals that he wasn't interested. One of the perks and downfalls of being instinctive and working with people. Who knows? I mean by nature the majority (not all...umm...Key is not...) of male mds are narcissistic by nature. So, who can tell? I mean in the 6 minutes he disclosed info on his nice apartment and nice car. I guess 6 minutes is a long time for a md to concentrate..and actually listen...I mean really, let's think about most md visits these day. I should give him props for sitting still that long, I suppose...ok maybe I am being mean now. I marked yes, but I would be really suprised if it gets a match. So I marked 2/5. In rush terms, I guess I am cutting it a bit close. I chose AOII and Chi Omega if you will...and didn't give a third chance. No ranking here though..but I did not work with the odds of me getting a match. No snap bids here ladies. I am waiting to see how big of a waste of money this event was for me. At least I did it...said I wanted to..and I did. While I won't again anytime soon, I wouldn't be completely opposed to doing it in the future.

My frustration and somewhat grumpy mood (I think others might confirm) had more to do with a frustration of dating in general. I feel like I am just now starting to look desperate with all the dating things I have tried. It is hard to meet potential datees (not a word I know..but it is in Jessica language) anymore. I have been told to not "place my eggs all in one basket" so I am trying to increase my odds of meeting more people. To be honest, I am not sure if I am cut out for all this casual dating several people, etc. I am more of a hey I am interested in you, you are interested in me, let's date a bit and see where it goes or doesn't go. I feel like I don't have much control of the dating dynamic right now, as men seem to dictate this casual dating thing. Basically it's in their court and sometimes they want to date alot of people and sometimes that focus in on one person. Unfortunately I tend to be one of the masses and not the "selected ones" if you will. I am very date worthy...and have much to share and I can be fun to be around...oh well. I mean I amuse many of you on a daily basis, do I not? However many of you are women who can relate..family..or just scared male bystanders. That is where the grumpy Jessica arrives...tired of looking desperate and feeling out of control of the situation. Why do girls tend to question themselves and what is wrong when dating goes sour? Stinky pooh pooh. (Just felt like putting that in there..haha).