What is new with my life? Well, I have worked and worked and worked this weekend. I am exhausted. I found out something yesterday that kept me up crying a good portion of the night. It is like the heart heals a bit...and boom another hit. It hurst even more when you realize that you are the only one that is hurting. Oh well. I have also been questioning myself. What do I have to offer a companion? Yes, I need to work on the whole self-esteem thing...but doesn't help when I find out...well some of you know to what I am referencing. Why can't we choose who we care for? That would make life so much easier. Even though I totally disagree with something someone is doing and feel insulted and hurt...I still can't stop caring for them. What is the freakin' deal? I am angry...so angry right now. So much for the mellow music stage...bring back out the man hating music. And what stinks..is that I have this little vindicative bitch voice in my head..but then I am too nice to really say and do those things. I say something I percieve as mean...and then I am apologizing because I don't want to hurt anyone I care about. How messed up is that? I removed all my dating profiles tonight. Why? Because I am not ready to date.. or at least don't have the energy to do it that way. I am talking to a few people and will continue to do so and see where they lead. The guy I enjoy talking to the most is up close to Cincinnati and is German (foreign..yes shocking I know..let's just ignore the fact that I can't stand the language). We can truly carry on some conversation..so it might go somewhere. The guy who found my blog is MIA...but really can you blame him? Scary, scary I know. There is also I good ole county boy in the mix but I fear that he may be disappointed in meeting me. I just don't have the energy to do it right now (although evidently purusing hard core is the way to go as it leads men to do stupid things) and I am comparing my interaction with the new people with someone else. Love freaking stinks!!!! So, I have the crush on this guy at work..he is 22 (and I felt bad about it because he is 4 years younger..but apparently age doesn't matter these days, does it?) and totally out of my league..but like I said it is a crush. A crush on a hot guy who has a wonderful personality. Well, evidently I am completely transparent and everyone at work figured it out. I found out tonight that he knows..he told another guy at work. Great...can this week get just a bit better? How totally embarressed am I? Yes, this coming from the girl notorious for "confessions"..some crushes are just not meant to come out, you know? Life sucks this week..that's all I can say.