I am still up at 6am...sad times...working the night shift. I am so glad that I don't work it all the time. My sleep gets even more messed up...(yes it can be worse than it normally is). An embarrassing Jessica story to start off your week. I have been craving breakfast..and unfortunately when I get off at 3 am...or 4:30 as it was tonight..it is hard to find good breakfast. I decided that I was craving it enough that I would order Waffle House...so I did and I arrived to only remember they take cash only. I had to dig through my car and count out change...and still was going to be a bit short. I made the comment to the waitress..oh I bet this happens all the time..and she was like "no..this is actually the first time I have seen it". Yeah..she finally donated a dollar and I got my food. Sad...Embarrassing times...I have to start carrying cash!!! I think she felt sorry for me because I looked a bit disheveled and evidently she had been to the Ridge (per her report) before...so she felt sorry for the sad looking counselor I suppose.

I am finding I am even more picky when it comes to online dating. I mean really..I am no genius, but I will only respond if you have things spelled correctly in your profile..and any emails to me (I mean there is spell check). O.k. everyone misspells a word here and there..but if it over and over..then I am like..for the love! Plus, attempt to carry on a decent email conversation. I mean "hey cutie...how are you?" does not count. If I can't exchange a few emails with you...dinner would be torture! I don't know if I am ready to be thrown back into all this. I am thinking that I just need to admit that I need some time just working on me. The thing that makes that hard to admit is because I am feeling so lonely these days and just long for companionship. What is causing this sudden increase in the urgency to feel that void? Well, the void has became bigger....it was filled through friendships..but i feel like the whole dynamic of my social network is changing..and everyone is either pairing off or just really busy. Then there is that stinkin' hung up on someone piece as well. So it creates a struggle in me...but I think I am just needing to chill out for a bit and deal with being lonely.

Would write more but I am tired and don't want to run the risk of writing in circles and only speaking nonsense. Enjoy your Monday.