Why am I still up at 4:30 when I have to get up at 10 in the morning? Part of it is the fact that I need more than 1 day from switch from one shift to another and the other part is because I can't stop thinking. It is not really anxiety type of thinking...I mean I don't have too much to worry about really..just other things. I am feeling angry and selfish at all the bitterness and cynicisim that I am feeling. I am having trouble being happy for those around me who are happy in terms of romantic relationships. I mean, really on the one hand I am happy for anything that makes those that I care about happy..but I am sad too and bitter for those I don't know. It is not their fault that they are happy...so I am so frustrated with myself. This stupid ass holiday is affecting me too much this year. What's up with that? This is all ridiculous. Really you should probably ignore this email as it is written at a late hour and the fact that I am emotional today.