Well, I had a yes, my job is stressful evening tonight. It was extremely hectic with just things to do and "fires" to put out. Then I guess it all was topped off when the unit complained that there was nothing that I said rude..but just my tone of voice. For the love, if they heard anything they heard me echoing back the screaming they do at me. Stressful times...at one point I went in the directors office..shut the door...cried a bit..regained my composure and headed back for the frontline. One of the mds was suppose to actually send us pizza due to the night we had..but it never came..so it was like a cruel joke as I was checking the door for it..and I was starving. It never came..but I did go to Perkins and pick up a little breakfast buffet for me and Kaden...I mean really I can eat what on want on Valentine's Day.

O.k. another thing that is bothering me is a little personal I suppose. I have to go for a check up on some lumps on my breast this week. I wasn't worried about it until I called the place and all the recordings are talking about cancer, cancer recovery. Talk about provoking anxiety.. I mean really. So, honestly I think I have been a bit worried and on edge about that the past few days.

Speaking of stress...happy v-day...single awareness day (i.e. SAD..how funnny is that?). Really I would like nothing better than to simply sleep through the entire day. To be honest...I probably could manage that if I didn't have to get up and go to class tomorrow evening. The perfect way to spend Valentine's Day would be in my pajamas with some chocolate (such as reeses...or something peanut butter related) and some coke of course. Unfortunately I must get up at 4 or so and go to class though...so that ruins my plan of excessive sleeping and unhealthy eating..i have to face the happy go lucky people and flowers gallore. Perhaps, I can get some chocolate covered strawberries from Old Kentucky Chocolates. I tried to get some last year, but they were all sold out..I probably should set my alarm and go get some early morning..but I won't...guess I may take my shot later in the day at seeing if they have any left. I must admit that over the last week or so I have found the bitterness growing in me about the topic of love. A girl at work told me about how she is marrying a guy that she met a month ago...they are getting married this summer....getting a house right now. The old Jessica would have been like "how romantic" and all happy when the girl was saying "when you know its the one, you know"...but the new Jessica is simply annoyed and cynical and guessing how long it will take that marriage to break up. I mean really the whole concept of "the one"...I want to believe in it..but I am just doubtful..and even if you think you know..I don't think you should jump into something head first like that. (This coming from the girl that puts full heart into love matters). I mean all this "jumping" in is why every other marriage ends in divorce. Marriage is treated like going steady to some people and that frustrates me. Marriage is sacred and maybe one day I will meet "the one" or one of the "ones" and will have my chance at the whole love thing. Or am I just frustrated because i am nobodys "the one" and that I am just lonley and bitter? Sorry for the tanget. This is a sign that I should go to bed...and sleep until I have class tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day to those of you celebrating it...and to those like me who are not observing it.:-)