I just had a yes, I like my job..I may be helping people moment. (I tried to call several people to share, but no one was answering...let's be honest I have more people reading my blog than calling me these days..sad, but true.) Basically I got to do some pseudo family counseling...and I felt like it went well..it was a little on the Dr. Phil pace..but not like I have lots of time here either. Does it make me regret my school decision? No, I still do feel like I did the right thing for me right now. And everyone..including my professor...have be supportive thus far. I am just being assertive about it and I am feeling much relief. Evidently even my blood pressure agrees...just too it and it continues to be in average range...miracle for me.

I have some new goals. #1 I want to work on not having a red kool-aid mustache/fangs everytime I drink kool-aid..besides the fact that I may live with someone one day that it may annoy...it is also hard to remove. I am finding that each day as I am getting ready for work, I am trying to scrub the red off. Or maybe I could just propose to the Kool-Aid company that I do ads for them...me and kaden with matching strange mustaches...be honest..it would make you want to buy sugar-free kool-aid. Ok., seriously #2 Stop asking questions that you really don't want the answer to. I found myself almost doing that tonight..I tend to go by the..if it's on my mind..then ask it policy..but really do I need to always do this when I know what the answer is and it will only serve as a confirmation and add more hurt to my life. No, don't ask if you know that answer..or think you do..or if it's not totally neccessary to know. Don't ask..don't need to know policy. If you are fairly sure someone is ignoring you...do you really have to ask them and know every detail of it? I say no...because overall I have good instincts and if I just followed them and lived with that...I think that it would be all and well. Eliminate potential hurt...new goal.

Another thought..just have no faith in men...then when they actually come around or do something good..it will a suprise. Don't be suprised when guys who haven't called you in months call and ask random questions of no relevance or tell you happy valentine's day 4 days in advance. Don't be frustrated..just don't try to understand them and be pleasantly suprised when they are normal or do something nice. On the Valentines' Day thing...can I just complain though...I mean really..don't mention the stinkin' holiday in advance when I know you are probably sending flowers to someone else. That's all I am saying.

Kaden..the love and terror of my life. My back is aching because I have been sleeping on the couch so much. Doggie steps are in the mail..but not here quite yet. Probably doesn't matter..he'll probably be stubborn and not want to use them..haha.

I have such an itching to travel right now. The thought of going to Europe..and Ireland makes me smile. I tend to feel so calm and often relaxed when I am away. I have this image of me sitting beside the Lakes of Killarney in Ireland...just looking out into the horizon and feeling like I don't have a care in the world and like anything really is possible. (Corny moment..I know). Sigh...

One last random thought that i have been having. Been talking with some people and debating...really how does one determine is themself or someone else is a good kisser? I don't think there really is a way to know and it is not fair to place labels, because really it is about compatibility and related to emotions felt for that person. Thinking back...in the last 5 years...there have only been two people that I have truly enjoyed kissing and felt compatibility. One of them lives in another country...oh whoever could I be talking about and well you'll just have your own guesses on the other.

Pure randomness...my thoughts are all over the map tonight.