Feel the pressure to post because I feel like everyone may check it when they return to work or school on Monday...don't really know if it's true..but nevertheless I am posting. Had a weekend of working and then attending a wedding reception yesterday. One down, and how many to go? Seriously, I am bit worried because as much as I complain about being single, I hate the drama of relationships sometimes. When you are crying more than smiling...I think that is time to reconsider things. Some of my friends (um..the majority of them) are reconsidering relationships right now...it is kind of strange. It is like everyone goes in waves.....is there something in the air that makes people reconsider things this time of the year? I guess we are hitting the holiday slump...no major holiday again after Valentine's Day...that is celebrated by couples...until a birthday or Thanksgiving. After grinding the teeth through the holidays are people just going crazy? Who knows? I would bet that the majority of them will get through it and be ok..this is just my prediction. Because as much as I am bitter and lonely...I truly don't wish it upon everyone.

Anger..this is something that I have been feeling lately. Hell hath no fury like a women scorned...well no one has particularly scorned me...but I do feel it a bit I suppose. I am just bottled up with anger and bitterness that needs to be released I have decided. I guess at times I have unfairly focused it on people or situations because it gives a target for all that emotion. When I dwell on those things..that really are not that significant to me...I realize my misplaced anger.

You know...I think every girl at some point has complained about one of their girlfriends dropping their friends for a guy. We all have been on both ends...some to more extremes..but I think most girls understand the situation. Guys don't do this..why? I guess because their friendships are not the same. When a girlfriend disappears a girl notices that void..but I don't think it is as evident with guys. I don't know what it is with girls..you just don't want to feel like second place to people you almost consider family. Strangeness really. I think as I have gotten older this has taken on a whole new meaning. Granted..many of my friends are in rocky situations right now, but regardless...they are all attached in some respect. Of my single friends I am a dying breed at the moment. It makes me feel left out and left behind. It makes me feel this urgency to post on dating websites to meet someone because otherwise I am just going to be a sad, lonely individual. That is frustrating to me...because I consider many of my friends like family. So what happens if everyone else marries off and I am still single? This is my concern. This is to not say that all my friends in relationships have disappeared...but it changes the dynamic of a friendship..especially when they get married. Perhaps that is why I cry when I find out one of my closest friends is getting married? I am truly happy for every one of my friends...especially when I feel like they have met a great partner...but there is that left behind feeling that creates some sadness. (Not to worry though...my coworkers are on the case as the receptionist has give me her cousin's email address and the nurse on the boys unit is telling the mhas that i am a good catch...must be coming across as really desperate..haha...i must learn to keep my big trap shut!)

Speaking of marriage...I had dinner with Lisa and David this weekend. I have no doubt that Lisa picked the right guy..especially when after hearing my irish saga he told me I should move to Ireland (at which point Lisa screamed at him..haha). I had to share because I thought it was a wonderful suggestion...not just because of the history it holds for me. I think the thought of moving always feels invigorating...but there are many down sides to it too. So, I think I have written enough for you to chew on for now.